I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Randomize
