This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
