Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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