I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
