You're so nebulous sometimes
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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