no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
