Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
