plz talk dirty to me
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
