Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
