dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
