Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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