Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
