Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
