after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
