just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
