There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
