my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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