census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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