as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
