I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
