He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
