One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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