This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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