Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Randomize
