C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
