The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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