This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Rumble strips road head = magical
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
