By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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