I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
