is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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