Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
