Fuck appropriateness.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
