At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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