why didn't you poke me back
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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