I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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