I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
