GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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