So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
