I think I died a long time ago.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
