I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
