my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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