so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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