Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
