brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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