i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
we're so committed to being not committed
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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