Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
