I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I have aggressive nipples.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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