Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
