You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
