can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
