we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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