Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
