The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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